she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
