And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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