we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
