he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
