i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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