My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
