whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
