home. puking in laundry basket.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There r osticjed everywhere
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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