ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
