oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
