yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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