Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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