So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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