So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
