Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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