love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
