I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
