I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
