he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize