Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Terrible idea I love it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
