dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
