Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
