Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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