she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
