too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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