hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
