If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can't turn off my feet"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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