also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize