I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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