Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
