my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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