@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
