If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
