why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
