I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
