What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize