I want to have your abortion
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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