Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish I only lived at night.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
