Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
one might say we're banned from that church
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
