But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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