I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
