his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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