so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
