I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
