The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I don't think brook has ever known best
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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