ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
