I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We have started to decorate penises.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
