Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
