would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize