New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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