her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
