He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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