: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
