it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
