My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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