So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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