We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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