her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
