So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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