If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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