Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize