I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
