she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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