I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
