just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize