"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
