Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Panties = found
Randomize
