There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
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