I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize